To Know When Your Marriage is Over - Keep Out the Guesswork

You would hear this often at ladies' coffee meets or even at cocktail parties. 'I strongly feel that my marriage has hit the bottom' or 'I know that my days with Tom are numbered' and so on. I call them wild guesses by wives who are going through some rough patches with their husbands. Be that as it may, how do you actually know when your marriage is over? Should you rely on hunches or base your conclusions after some normal tiff with your partner? In a situation as serious as a marriage, you would agree that there is no place for guessing; either you are sure or you are not. There is no place for 'may be' or 'I think'.

Sometimes you may find it difficult to know what is exactly going wrong with your marriage. Your partner may be disinterested, irritable or even seem remote. But does this mean that it is over? Are there more genuine and reliable signs which confirm your worst fears when your marriage is over? May be not - your spouse could just be busy with some other thoughts!

Usually the trouble starts when the spouse does not meet certain set parameters of 'expected behaviors'. These may include small trivia like a hug before he goes to work, or a call to check whether the flight took off on time and so on. As soon as such behavioral patterns fall short of expectations, most couples start to wonder and sometimes even draw baseless conclusions. In stead of relying on guess work or allowing your imagination to run wild, why not be a little more flexible in your thoughts: your spouse could have developed several other priorities; he or she could have simply become forgetful and so on?

Usually with time, couples lose track of their individual growth in the relationship. You perhaps firmly believe that your husband would forever remain the way he was in the first few years of marriage or the wife would forever dress the way she used to when you met.

Coming back to the all-familiar doubt - how to tell when your marriage is over. Here are some signs to confirm your fears:

o Complete breakdown of communication. When this happens, you know something is going seriously wrong.
o Personality clash on every issue. Lack of patience and the already-known inadequacies seem to be unbearable leading to frequent clashes.
o You would know when your marriage is over when none of you go out of your way to be helpful.

Seeking opportunities to flee from situations where both of you might have to be together, insensitivity, forgetfulness about each other's important needs, consistent rudeness in behavior are some of the other signs that tell you that that your marriage is on its last leg.

Why is saving your marriage so important to you? Because a good marriage is one of the most treasured of human interactions. It colors everything else around us.

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The 3 Things To Know Before You Talk To A Marriage Counselor

We need help solving our problems. When you and your partner have tried to solve a marital problem and it seams that there is no hope, you might want to find a good marriage advisor. A professional adviser will listen to what both of you have to say concerning the problem at hand and then try to help you work through the issues.

What about emotional turmoil?

If both of you are going through a lot of emotional stress and strain, a marriage counselor is also there for damage control, which means that the professional adviser can give you encouragement and help you get through the emotional stress and the marriage counselor can also reassure you both that your marriage is not totally lost.

What else can a marriage counselor do to help us?

A marriage advisor can not only get to the root cause of your marital problems, but a marriage counselor can also give you some suggestions on how to get your marriage back on solid ground.

Your professional adviser can also give you some exercises and activities to do that will strengthen your marriage and your marriage advisor can also show you how to communicate better with one another. If you continue to use the strategies that your professional adviser prescribes, with a marriage counselor's help, your marriage will become stronger over time.

Be open and honest.

If you decide to get help from a marriage advisor, then you must be completely honest with him or her because if you're not, it'll not work

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Searching For a Black Wedding Dress

It may seem like a very not-so-traditional approach to a wedding ceremony, a lot of bride-to-bes out there is into finding their ideal black wedding dress. The idea may not be much of a hit compared to the traditional white dress; but it is indeed a great and a one-of-a-kind option.

If you happen to be the type who can't help but picture herself in a black wedding dress, then you must find out about the handful of bridal companies you might want to look through in order for you to score that unique gown.

The Wedding Wardrobe

This store has a variety of dresses to choose from, they offer not only one black wedding dress but quite a few more styles. One of the most popular selection that they have is the Xena, embellished with hand sewn beads, fully-boned bodice accentuated by a pull back corset. There's a mixture of jet black Swarovski crystals and AB on a plain black silk bodice. The skirt is a narrow A-line skirt with a front drape that is detachable and a full length train that is also detachable. It was originally meant to be a black wedding dress but now, it is available in white, ivory, antique ivory, gold, burgundy and red.

Nordstroms

Another great store to guide you in your search for the black wedding dress, no doubt is it a recognizable name. First established in 1901, currently one of the nation's leading fashion retailers that offers various high-quality apparel, shoes, accessories for men, women and children all over the country

You have big selection to choose from for your favorite black wedding dress. Their website also provides links to a different website that offers the same style of dresses just in case you can't seem to find the one that you like with them.

Remember

Certainly you'll get a slice of critique pounded on your unconventional black dress, but keep in mind it is YOUR wedding, it's your day, so disregard whatever other people say.

The color black has been stereotyped with death and grimness, however, the color black is rumored to protect one from pain and misfortune because the color can repel the vibrations from negative energy.

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Wedding Readings That Will Save Your Guests' Eye Makeup and Make Your Readers Forget Their Fear

I have to confess that I get very emotional at weddings, especially if the bride or groom starts to cry. It's a struggle not to start yourself when you hear their sobs. Many couples get so caught up in the details and stress of planning their wedding that they forget what an enormously life-changing event it actually is, and the reality of that hits them when they're finally standing there, ready to take their vows. I've seen many overcome by emotion, crying so hard they couldn't speak.

So it is always a great relief to me when the readings are humorous and help lighten the mood a little bit. Remember that funny doesn't have to equal bad taste. There are many classic quotes on love and marriage that will make most people smile (or even laugh out loud). Depending on how formal your event is, you can either go with the very classic such as Shakespeare or something short and hilarious, perhaps by Homer Simpson, Seinfeld, or my personal favorite, Woody Allen.

It's important to check with the person you have asked to do the reading how comfortable they are standing up in front of an audience. Many would rather die than have all eyes on them (it's true: a survey found that a much higher percentage of people list public speaking as their number one fear, placing death further down on the list), but if they still want to be part of the ceremony and read in spite of their fear, you can do them a huge favor by choosing something very short and funny. If your reader cracks up while reading it, chances are he or she will immediately relax.

A few examples:

"I was nauseous and tingly all over. I was either in love or I had smallpox"
Woody Allen

"I was the best man at the wedding. If I'm the best man, why is she marrying him?"
Jerry Seinfeld

A husband is a guy who tells you when you've got on too much lipstick and helps you with your girdle when your hips stick.
Ogden Nash

By all means marry. If you get a good wife you will become happy, and if you get a bad one you will become a philosopher.
Socrates

Other great sources for funny readings, or snippets you can put together into a reading yourself, are song lyrics, children's quotes, mangled English quotes ("I know that hiding inside your chest is a girl who loves my characteristics" or " You and me - we are one candle firing in the dark"), children's books, TV shows, movies, the list goes on.

Don't be afraid to stray from the standard readings we've all heard again and again. Go ahead and choose something fun and creative and totally you - and have a fabulous wedding day!

Shezzi Kensington writes about printable wedding invitations and other aspects involved in planning a wedding.

Mic Test-123 - Who Should Host Your Wedding Reception?

One item that you may not think about but is really important to your reception: a great host. Just imagine, your guests arrive at your party but you're rather busy attending to everyone. Your host or hostess for the night will need to get the party jumpstarted on your behalf and keep the party fun and flowing so that everyone, including yourself, enjoys the event.

You have the option to hire a professional to host your event. The great thing about this is that this gentleman or lady is very familiar with handling events and are used to dealing with crowds and strangers. If you give them a clear program to follow, they can liven up your party and help you make the transition between each activity smooth.

Of course, you may prefer to have a member of the family or your closest friend host the event for you. One advantage to this may be that he or she knows almost everyone at your wedding and can easily get them to participate. The disadvantage is that if they are nervous you'll get a lot of dead air on the microphone and some garbled speech.

If you do go for a professional, check that you like their style. Ask if you can observe them at work if they are hosting another event. Check if you like their sense of humor as well. Keep in mind that you need someone who knows when the jokes are getting too risque or bawdy and are beginning to offend your guests.

You also don't want to end up with someone who just wants to hit on your female guests. You're looking for someone who can be both dignified, charming and an absolute source of excitement and control to face your family and friends on this important day.

It's also very important that they dress appropriately, and speak articulately and eloquently on your behalf. After all, they are representing YOU for this major event :)

Lesley-Ann Graham runs WeddingTrix.com - a valuable wedding planning resource with articles, tips and advice to help you plan your perfect wedding. Visit Lesley-Ann's wedding blog for more free wedding planning help and advice.